Joel and Hayley What if this isn’t the crisis they warned you about—but the invitation you’ve been waiting for?
What if everything that feels like it’s falling apart… is really falling into place?
Where Were You When You Asked, “How Did I Get Here?”
I still remember the morning vividly.
The kids were running around, laughing, only half-listening to the “We’re leaving in 10 for school!” reminders. My wife darted around prepping breakfast, backpacks, asking them to keep the noise down because “Daddy has a bad head.”
I sat there, watching through a medicated haze, detached from it all—present, but not really there. Cluster headaches had left me a shell of myself. The meds dulled the pain but also dimmed me.
I could hear my children:: “Bye, Daddy.” I smiled back the best I could. But inside, I sobbed, my throat felt to small for my swallow.
I wanted to be in it—with them. To share the morning chaos. The hugs. The connection. But I couldn’t. How can you feel so lonely in a house full of people?
The Breakdown That Was Really a Breakthrough
The meds weren’t working. The side effects were stealing moments I’d never get back.
It all felt helpless—like I was watching life happen from behind a pane of glass, my body taken out yet my mind active. And then the thought hit me:
How did I get here?
By all accounts, I had everything I thought I wanted. Wife. Kids. House. Career. Car. By society’s checklist, I should’ve been fulfilled. So why did I feel like I was in quicksand and the tide was racing in?
What If This Is the Gift?
In the thick of that darkness, something cracked open.
I saw the strain on my wife. I saw the missed connection with my kids. I saw the version of me I never intended to become. And I finally admitted:
“I can’t do this anymore.”
What if society’s take on midlife is wrong? What if what we call a “crisis” is actually a calling?
The Decision That Changed Everything
I went to my doctor to explain, “I can’t do this anymore”,
‘”ell what are you going to do instead?”
“I don’t know, yet this isn’t working. I’ll train” I threw out as I felt my self efficacy being removed.
“You’ve got a month” he said.
I quit the meds. The side effects weren’t worth the numbness. I chose to find another way—because that’s what it was: A choice.
It wasn’t instant, and it wasn’t easy. But it was a beginning.
I had to unlearn my fear of change. I had to allow the discomfort. And I had to recognize that the pain wasn’t punishment—it was prompting.
Like the trees shedding in autumn, it was time to let go of everything I thought I had to be… and come back to who I truly was.
Everything You Thought Midlife Meant… What If It’s the Opposite?
We’re taught midlife looks like:
- Affairs
- Sports cars
- Existential spirals
- Maybe even breaking everything to start over
But what if the “spiral” is just life clearing space for what you’ve been avoiding?
What if this is your greatest opportunity for change? What if the ticking clock is a gift—a reminder that you still have time to rewrite your story?
Time to Ask the Real Questions
Take a breath and ask yourself:
- Where in your life are you feeling restless… but unsure why?
- What part of your day feels like it’s running on autopilot?
- When did you last feel deeply connected—to yourself, your partner, your purpose?
For me, midlife didn’t come with a bang. It was more like erosion—a slow wearing down of joy, energy, and alignment. Until one day, I looked in the mirror and barely recognized the man staring back.
Not just physically. Energetically. Spiritually.
Midlife Isn’t the Beginning of the End. It’s the Beginning of Becoming.
If you’ve believed midlife means it’s all downhill from here… I dare you to ask this instead:
What if this is the season I come home to who I truly am?
Your Move: Reflect, Reclaim, Realign
You don’t need to burn it all down. But you do need to get honest.
📝 Try this: Take 5 minutes today and write down:
- One area of your life that feels like it’s running on autopilot
- One small change that would bring you back into alignment
It could be a conversation. A walk. A decision you’ve been putting off. Whatever it is—start there.
This isn’t a midlife crisis. It’s your midlife invitation. To live with intention. To connect deeply. And to become the man you were always meant to be.
Want help navigating this?
Stick around — this is the work I do. You’re not alone, and this season doesn’t have to be silent.
#healthylifestyle #timeflies #neversettle #faithoverfear